I can't wait till tomorrow

At this time of year, it is almost expected to make a list of all that you would like to accomplish for the year. Pretty much everybody does it. Funny, though, I heard just the other day that most people will not carry out their "New Year's resolutions" past the first week. I can so relate to falling into that statistic over the years.

I am, by my very nature, a planner. I have always, to my knowledge, been this way. My mother used to sing to me a rather annoying song that went something like this,

" I can't wait till tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow

I can't wait till tomorrow, will tomorrow every come?

Mom and Dad are so, so patient. They never have to wait

Even though the clock is stuuuuuckkk. At quarter after eight..." ( Repeat)

Urg. The truth hurts. Especially when put to music.

I still want to know what's coming up. What to plan. How to plan. I HATE NOT KNOWING.

I am a slow learner, but I am learning that this accomplishes so very little when it comes to my relationship with God. I somehow conveniently, often forget that the future is not mine to know or even...control.

Besides, James pretty much discourages the whole planning thing in Chapter 4 of his book...

"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit-' yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.'

I am learning from the Lord . I have experienced His hand guiding me through plans that were not MY plans, but that were always a part of His. I can look back with such thankfullness because I know that it has been His loving hand that has taught us, guided and led us.

Leaving church ministry was not in the plans. Didn't plan that one. God did. He taught us both how beautiful it can be to be put in a postion of complete dependence on Him for our daily food and provisions and our wellness both spiritually and emotionally. There were days that my faith was so small and He knew that I needed that time to strengthen that area of my life. He used losing our plans and our security to show off for me.

Returning to Word of Life was not in the plans. Didn't plan that one. God did. He knew that this year would be refreshing and refocusing. He knew that we needed this year to heal from our broken hearts.He knew we needed to take a step back and to read and grow and learn and lean on each other and most importantly, lean on HIM.

Loosing another pregnancy? (Okay, the pregnancy wasn't planned either). Didn't plan that one. God did. I felt such peace in and through that time in our lives. Another proof of His power that is always at work.. I felt covered by Him.

There are many, many more to mention. Many are flooding my heart tonight.

As I take the time to reflect on His goodness in these areas, and in so many of the daily ups and downs of life, I can only resolve to do one thing. I resolve that I will NOT plan. I will daily hand it over. I will obey Him, follow Him and believe that He is Soverign over and in my life this year.

Planning for this year seems almost silly to me in light of how different it went from my well thought out plans. It seems pointless, really. I will go into this year knowing that it will not be anything that I could forsee or plan on, but He was trustworthy in the yesterdays, and I can be sure that He is going to be trusted with the tomorrows.

What springs to my heart are the words to a song my mom used to sing. I loved it then. I love it still.

If We Could See

If we could see beyond today, as God can see

If all the clouds should roll away, the shadows flee

Or present grief we would not fret

Each sorrow we would soon forget

For many joys are waiting yet

For you and me

If we could know beyond today, as God doth know

Why dearest treasures pass away, and tears must flow

And why the darkness leads to light

Why dreary days will soon grow bright

Some day life's wrongs will be made right

Faith tells us so

If we could see, If we could know we often say

But God ,in love, a veil doth throw across our way

We cannot see what lies before, and so we cling to Him the more

He leads us till this life is 'or

Trust and Obey

""Though you may not see where faith will take you, you can always see where faith has been."