The Banner over Me

Tenth grade.

It was significant.

I was working my way out of a rather awkward few years. A phase, really. A frizzy hair, brace face phase in my life. (You won't find any evidence of these years as I have taken on the great duty of ridding them from the planet. Your welcome.)

I was beginning to believe that I could quite possibly be welcomed once again into society and perhaps could even take a gander into a mirror once in a while. It was great.

I will indulge you in a piece of the past if you promise not to judge.

I was in a fashion show in tenth grade. I felt so cool. So hot. So hip. It was so...rad. (I was also in a beauty pageant, but I will spare you the gory details.) On display for the whole world (just my high school, but you know...at that point in life it was the whole world) to see. We had worked for weeks on it and had picked out our own outfits from some pretty amazing stores and...well, it was such a moment of...achievement.

The reason for this reflection came about due to a conversation that I had with my 10 year old going on 30 year old. We were talking about what our life says about us.What, in her words, "the banner over our life" says about us.

Individually.

What I have concluded is that this does not mean that I am concerned about what people are saying about us. That is not the banner.

That battle for significance and worth from people will only ever end in cul-de-sacs and will leave one frustrated and severely lost. I have been on that hamster wheel before and God forbid I ever enter into it again.

No, the fact is...living a life that pleases others (allow me this soap box), in Jesus' opinion are people who are in a perpetual fashion show. In fact, Jesus goes as far in Matthew 23 to say these words...

"Do you want to stand out? Then, step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you'll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you're content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty."

I pretty much love that.

So, the idea here for me is...am I in a perpetual fashion show, where all I do is for display for the world to see; for the show? Or is the banner over my life display what I am willing to give, live and die for?

I want the banner over my life to read that I am about the only thing that brings purpose and hope and light and life. The Gospel of Christ. I want my daily decisions and my reactions to declare that this is what I am about. The work of Christ and its transforming power in my life.

I am continually humbled by my children and what they are teaching me. And I love this concept that Paige brought up. I pray my life will hold more significance than the value of popular opinion, or the car I drive, or the kind of ministry I have, or the status I ever achieve, or my 401K or my... you name it...

I want a way of life that is not measured by the fleeting approval of men, but by the eternal things of God.

"Mom, I know what I want my banner to be". " Great, Paige!" I said, " What is it?"

"Influence." she stated quietly and humbly. " I don't think I am too young to influence the people around me with God's love."

Gulp.

"No, lamb." I said, brushing back the hair from her forehead, "Surely, you are not."

And this mommy's heart is a testimony of that truth.

"God's kingdom is made up of such as these..." Matthew 19