Pondering the path of my feet

"Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil." Proverbs 4:25-27

This past summer I got totally lost in a maze. I somehow got seperated from my giggling children as they ran headlong into one. It wasn't that big for goodness sake! How could I have possibly gotten so turned around? Panic even set in. It seems silly now. It's not like I would have to build a home there. I could somehow picture myself, though, after a few hours of wandering, having my husband find me huddled in the corner covered in dirt and in a fetal position. "Get a grip" I told myself. It's just a maze. Keep calm. Think.

Of course, I eventually found my way out of the maze and was met by the confused faces of my family who were obviously astounded that I could really get lost in a man made bunch of shrubs.

Go figure.

Today, I kinda feel that way. A little panicky. A bit lost. Maybe even feeling that I might want to curl up in a fetal postion and wait until help comes.

Change. I long to be spontaneous and adventurous and throw caution to the wind and just...I don't know...chill? I am not, however one of those people. I have known several people like that in my life and have so envied thier ability to really live. They also really annoy me.

Change hasn't been easy for me this time. Said some hard goodbyes to my family this last month Goodbye to a home we loved and people that we cherish and a dream of being able to serve our church. Said hello to a new life, new job, new friends, new home, new...everything. I tend to want to resort back to what is comfortable and what seemed to be so normal.

I recognize, through the Sprit's gentle whispers in my ear of late, that a life of comfort and "normal" is not the cry of my heart, however. I long to live richly, deeply in the comfort of HIM. Resting in HIS provisions for me. Both physical and spiritual. I long for the daily dependency that a life of faith can bring. I greatly desire for He alone to be my portion and my song. I just have to admit to feeling a bit lost on the path that brings me to that place.

That is why today as I read this verse over and over and over again I was so comforted in this leg of my journey. A note from Him today. Look forward. Keep walking. Don't swerve. Ponder the path of your feet.

I found in my Bible, some weeks back now a quote from someone, don't know who. It stated,

" You never know where faith will take you, but you can always see where faith has been."

Whew! Love that!

The God of yesterday who faithfully provides for me in all the best ways is the God of today and tomorrow. He gives what I need when I need it and leads me through this maze of emotions that I am struggling through today.

" He will my shield and portion be as long as life endures." -amazing grace