More than these

I have always had this love hate relationship with the Disney movie, "Mary Poppins".

I love how Mary brings such joy and life back into a typical dysfunctional, off-target family. I love Julie Andrews. Love the scene with Uncle Albert and Bert rising to the ceiling and having a good laugh over tea. Love it when they pop into a chalk drawing and spend the day riding merry-go-round ponies and saving that poor fox.

I hate. HATE the ending.

I hate that Mary leaves without ever saying a word of goodbye. I have watched that movie nearly a dozen or so times and the ending is always the same. Mary leaves on the wind with nary a look back. I can remember even as a child thinking "That's it? No closure?"

What I would have loved to have seen is what those poor little children did when they got home to see Mary had gone! Left them! Without even saying goodbye! There would be tears, I tell you! Wouldn't be such a happy ending then WOULD IT?!

I think that is why I love that Jesus, after His resurrection , appears to the disciples. I am so glad that He gave them (and us) some closure. Imagine if it had ended with Jesus dying on the cross; that horrible death, then seeing that He had risen, but leaving without saying His goodbyes! Am I alone in this??

Sure, it must have been quite scary at first. Obviously they were more than a little scared already since they were all together, hiding, with the door locked in fear of the Jews. He showed them his scars, gave them a word of exhortation. "Forgive." Awesome.

He went as far as to give Thomas the closure that He needed in his weak faith.

I love all of these scenes. Love the time He had with Mary in the garden. Love it.

But, I will say that a scene that has captured me of late has to be the one where Jesus and Peter are sitting together finishing breakfast ( yes, finishing BREAKFAST). Jesus turns to Peter and says, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?"

I often am too quick to move onto Peter's answer, which was an emphatic, "Yes, Lord!"

I have reflected of late on what Jesus was addressing when He said , "more than these". What or whom was He refering to? We know that the men were fishing by the Sea of Tiberias and so they must have been sitting by the shore together after having breakfast. What was Jesus looking at as He asked this question? I have only to guess that He was speaking of the fellow disciples. His brothers. His family.

Jesus asks this question to Peter three times and in three different ways, and always with the same answer by Peter. He grows more emphatic each time. I am stuck on the first time, however.

" More than these?"

I can relate to this scenario right now.

I feel that this is the burning question right now. I feel that Jesus is asking this of me.

" Annie, do you love me more than these?"

These...

mom. dad. sister. brother and sister in law. ministry. students. friends. image. home. security. future. children. finances...and yes, even closure.

The answer so often is a quick and resounding, "Yes, Lord!" Only to be met by daily struggles to let them go. It is a new chapter in our lives. We are moving on. We are saying goodbye to what was and even who we were and not just saying it. But living it. Walking it. Shouting it. Crying it.

I am thankful for a God who is real enough to sit with His disciples, make them breakfast and give them what they need to prepare them for the next part of their journey. I am sure in the days and years to come they clung to every word that He said to them in these poignant scenes.

I am thankful that this same God cares enough about me to challenge me to do what comes next, emphatic about the state of my heart enough to continue asking me to give up more in order to gain that which will never die.

I pray that I am a good student of this lesson, Lord.

"After saying this He said to him ( Peter), "Follow me." John 21:19