Holding onto these moments

"I have really been through a lot for just nine years!"

That line was spoken to me by the lips of my baby girl. My eldest daughter, Paige this afternoon. We had just had a picnic lunch at the park and had just paid a visit to the local Target in search of the perfect toy. We scoured the aisles of the toy section. I was doing my best to be patient as my choloric daughter paced the aisles. Up and down and up and down looking for the perfect birthday gift. After about an hour ( I am not kidding) she was wringing her hands and had picked up a barbie only to put it back down again a moment later. "Are you mad?" she said wringing her hands. " No," I replied, " just anxious for you to pick out something that you REAALLLY want."

I then stated, half knowing the answer, " Do you want to look at the shoe aisle?" Her eyes lit up. " Yes! I would totally LOVE some shoes!" Totally.

I walked out of the toy aisle feeling that in that split second she had not just moved from the barbies to the shoe aisle, she was becoming a little lady. I know this might sound extremely dramatic to you, and perhaps I am overthinking it, but I couldn't help but think that as we passed by those barbies and stuffed animals and play-dough that those toys were waving goodbye to me. A scene from Toy Story causing a tear to get stuck in my throat.

I looked over at my lanky, lovely nine year old jumping up and down over a pair of trendy boots that she "Must have", and thought that this is just the begining. She is really going to grow up and I must face it and must embrace it and must love the changes happening to her and in her.

I must say that the memory of holding this tiny bundle in my arms for the first time is begining to feel like a million years ago. The feel of her snuggled in my arms a dream. I can't believe all those old ladies in the grocery store were right. YOu know those women. When you have a baby strapped to you and a toddler tugging on your legs and throwing herself in a heap in the middle of the store and that older woman would smile that smile. She would pat my hand and say," enjoy them now. they grow so fast."

Fast? It feels like warp speed!! They were right! When did this happen? How do I slow this down?

I am resigned today ( okay everyday) that I will squeeze all the love and joy and moments out of today. Today. What can I do to make today a sweet, precious memory so that it is mine forever?

Oh, that I don't miss one smile, one giggle, one goodnight kiss, one more book at bedtime, one tear, one dance to music, one opportunity to play a game. One late night talk. These are mine with her. Nothing can take them from me.

Thank you, dear God! This gift of life and love is a treasure from you! May I never forget that all things are yours and you have lent them to me to enjoy and to cherish!

Happy Birthday, Paigey. YOu have made life sweet, and full and memorable. I am a better person thanks to you!

Thanks for making me a mommy.