How fitting...How beautiful

I met a lady today that shares my name. It was an unexpected meeting. I was singing for a ladies fellowship. A christian women's club. Something maybe two years ago I would not have done. I am a bit of a cynic when it comes to ladies' fellowships. Maybe I am a snob. Maybe I am too worried about what other's think, but ladies scare me. They intimidate me, and I am not so easily intimidated. I have sung for these Christian women's clubs before and had in the past felt that it didn't accomplish much FOR ME...

But, then came the dreaded question by a lady that I love too dearly to turn down. It was last year and maybe she caught me on a good day, for I surely must have been feeling very sweet and kind when I responded to her question as to the availability in my "schedule" (laugh) to sing for them. I resounded with a smile and a hearty "Oh, I would LOOOOVVEEE too."

I was grumbling as I woke up this morning. I had 13 precious friends over yesterday for lunch and the dishes were piled high in the sink and today was Rob's day off of all things, and...ugh.

Maybe this is just me, but I to wonder what the Lord thinks when I act this way...

I was reminded as I climbed into my car and raced down the road as I was putting on my lipstick that my New Years Resolution ( even though I hate them) this year was to do things I don't normally do. To not always say, "No" to things that I don't want to do, or don't have time for. To try new things. Things that will make me better. Maybe today would be like a fitting begining to that creed.

So, I walked into the meeting place feeling good. Feeling ready. Feeling proud to be fulfilling my New Year's resolution so soon.

I had only been there maybe five minutes when the sweet lady who was taking care of my needs introduced me to the other ladies at my table. She turned to her left and said, "And this is my best friend, Annie". Well, I quickly stated that I loved her name and it wasn't long before this lovely, engaging, witty, funny lady and I struck up a conversation. There are those people that you come across in life that you like immediatly. Annie was one of those. I liked her.

After sharing with me some of HER journey of life as a missionary to Hawaii and New Mexico, she leans into me and says, " This trip to Florida is a treat to myself. See, I was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and I begin my treatments in two days."

I am usually pretty quick in witty responses, but I am not ashamed to tell you that I was without words. She winked at me then and said that she is in God's hands and that He holds her life and that she has peace in the midst of the uncertainty. She has inoperable tumors and she shrugged her shoulders and said that she wouldn't have the surgery even if she could. She says that she wants to enjoy her life and to trust God.

Hmmm...

I couldn't stop looking at her and listening and chatting and looking at pictures of her 17 year old daughter, and just being with her.

At the end of our time together she asked if I would put some songs together for her to listen to while she is going through chemo and I assured her that I certainly would love to do that. We exchanged email addresses and I hugged my new friend and prayed with her and we cried. Oh, tears shook her as we prayed. Tears wouldn't stop flowing as I left today. I didn't care who saw me leave with my mascara leaving streaks down my face.

I couldn't help thinking about this entire situation as I drove home. I was somber. I was moved. I was changed.

I know, now more than ever, that I don't belong here, that my heart longs for something more, for my home in heaven, that this temopral, fleeting world and life is just the begining. That this time here is a journey, a moment, a mist. But, today was a reminder. An in-your-face one. I was so glad that I met Annie. So glad that I shared her name and even more so, praying that I would be like her. That I would hold onto my life loosely and yet cling to the One who holds it all together.

I am renewd in my desire to learn all that I can on this journey and to meet as many diverse, and beautiful, and even sometimes "complex" people (like me!) that I possibly can. I want to learn and read and travel and try new things so that I can present myself to my God in the best way that I can. I want to cherish every moment, thank God for every breath, and never say "no" to something just because it might scare me, or not meet someone new because they might intimidate me. My desire is to live richly, deeply and passionatly for the glory of God.amen and amen. :)