Ten Things (our prayer for our daughter)

Two Sundays ago we threw a party.

 The significance of what we celebrated that evening wasn't lost on us. It was a weighty. We felt it in our bellies. Rob and I were launching our bright, beautiful, happy, joyful girl out of our nest and into the world and we wanted it to be a PARTY.

 We celebrated our Paige in a little grove behind our church with her family and friends all gathered around her. The sunlight was piercing through the trees so much like it would through the stained glass in a church. I kept thinking "how perfect!" because for us, this was a worship service. A time to reflect on the goodness of God in giving us the gift of her life to us. The blessing of HER to us. I chose bumble-bees and little yellow flowers and chunky lights and lavender because it all embodies our little sprite of a girl. She is whimsical and bright and happy and has been an absolute delight to our home. When you are in her space you feel the corners of your mouth lift and you can be surprised by the hearty laughs that bubble out of you. She is pure joy.

She wore a flower crown to match her dress and her yellow shoes and I just kept thinking how beautiful she was.

Several friends and family shared thoughts and prayers with her that night and she let big happy tears flow right down her pink cheeks and I knew she was tucking every word deep in her heart.

When it came time for her dad and me to share, I picked up from the table a journal that I had kept for her since the day I found out that her life was growing inside of me until the night before,where I had finished my final entry. It was so symbolic to me that my heart was pounding. Her dad and I had been witness to all of her life. Her first breath, her first steps, her first teeth and her first everything. I tried to document all of it in this little spiral journal. I gave it to her that night because the truth was that all of it...every single moment of being her mother and her dad were about THIS moment. I thought again about the Truth from Psalm 139 that He is the author of this child's life. I am not the author or the publisher. We were just ambassadors; given to her as an (imperfect) reflection of the love, care and nurturing that God the Father lavishes on His children.  He has written all of her days in His book (Ps.139:16),  He has had His hand on her from before the dawn of creation (Eph. 1:4). We haven't tried to shape her into our image, set her up for our plans and purposes for her or set expectations of perfect moral living on her, but to set her free to see the beauty of a life rescued by God, wrapped up in His grace and conformed to the image of His Son.

We were not perfect parents to which she would agree, but our hearts were united to point her to the perfect parent who does all things well, holds all things together for His glory and our good, and whose paths of life lead to "fullness of joy". (ps. 16:11).

Psalm 127:4 says so beautifully: "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, are the children of ones youth.."

We are launching this arrow. Paige is stepping out on her own and we know this means that she will be out of our direct gaze. While there are no guarantees that our children will follow God or listen to the sweet song of heaven, we are still called to teach them His Song. While there are no more journals for us to write in and our role in her life has shifted we garner strength and joy in knowing that God is going before her,  He is hemming her in, His hand is on her.  It always has been and it always will. He is the author and the perfector of her story.

Early on in our parenting years, Rob and I were doing the music at a conference where Ray and Ann Ortland were the speakers. These precious people, who were in the season of life where there was more behind them than in front of them, encouraged us (as we were just beginning) to write out our family vows. They encouraged us to have a direction to guide our lives in, rooted in the Word of God and to be intentional in the direction we were going to point our "arrows".  Fully acknowledging that this comes with no guarantees, but a calling to obedience all the same to do what the word of God says and to trust Him with the outcome.

So, here is what we hope our Paige learned from being in our home. Ten things we hope she carries with her.  No magic in this. It was just an intentional direction.  The great big ball of joy that hits my heart is that this arrow of ours is meant to shoot past where we are standing. That is awesome. Her life and her story and her purpose here are pre-determined by the One who has written her story. It has so little to do with us. This is their journey together. Her dad and I have had the joy and the privilege of being a small part of this story.

A few weeks ago while we were visiting her college, she snuck into my room and climbed into bed with me. With our arms wrapped around each other and our foreheads pressed up against the others she whispered, "Mom, am I going to change?" I swallowed the lump in my throat and whispered back, "Yes. You are. You are going to bloom.  I can't wait."

Fly, little one. Soar and BLOOM. For our part, I can only pray that our voices are hoarse from singing His praises and from cheering you on.  The best is yet to come.

 1. Practice hospitality 

(Welcome people into your space...all people...create a safe place for them to feel at home with you. This goes beyond keeping a nice home and having a beautiful table...this is deep, rich, meaningful and sometimes messy relationships break bread with you and find SHILOH in your presence.)

2. Laugh

(Don't take yourself too seriously. The gift of laughter will brighten even the gloomiest of days. Laugh at yourself, laugh at the way life turns out sometimes and laugh at the days to come..."the future is as bright as the mercy of God."

3. Be Free

(Live in the light of the gospel. This is more than just your free spirit, but be free in Christ. Enjoy the blessings of his grace, his kindness and His enduring, steadfast faithfulness to you. May His enduring, steadfast love for you center you always.)

4. Live life as a big adventure

(Wherever you are, make it an adventure...see all that you are doing as a part of a great journey. Take it all in. Take lots of pictures of the mundane (these are actually the glorious). If you are a stay at home mom or if you are traveling the world (or both!)...live every moment of your life as if it is an adventure. "Live in each season as it passes, breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit."

5. Let Jesus be your first and last.

(Your first hello in the morning and your goodbye at night. The Psalms are chock full of David talking about meditating on God's goodness and His love. Set your mind and your heart on Him.)

6. Let the light of God's word light your path

(When things get dark, you need light...nothing else will illuminate the "dark" like God's word. It is a tool to walk this path. Read it, memorize it, and may its truth be the loudest voice you hear.)

7. Be a minister of grace

(In your family, in your church...in all of life, especially the messy parts of life. If you see yourself as a recipient of God's grace, it will be natural to give it.)

8. Speak the truth, but in love

(When you are "for" someone, you won't get in the way. If you see something in someone who is hurting themselves with their sin, with their life choices, speak up, speak out and speak into it..not with your opinions and standards but with the life-giving truth from the Word of God. "Truth without love is harshness, but love without truth is sentimentality."

9. Do Kingdom work

(We raised you to be a warrior for the kingdom. Do hard work for His kingdom. Get your hands dirty in the mess of this world. Keep your heart soft and broken and your eyes open to see the world like Jesus does.)

10. Worship always, if necessary...use music

(May your life be a reflection of the awesome God you serve. May the way you love, serve, teach and live be an on-going worship service. May people hear your song and give honor and glory to the One who put it there.)